Second Childhood
by writer writing
Summary: Lois wishes to be a child again and gets her wish.
1. Chapter 1

"Don't you just wish that you could just be a child again sometimes?"

"No," Clark said firmly.

"Not even just a little bit?" Lois asked.

"I've grown and went through a lot to get to where I am now with a lot of mistakes and I wouldn't want to go back through that journey again for all the gold in the world."

"But do you ever see a new toy and say, gosh, I wish they had that when I was little?"

"What toy do you want and I'll get it for you," Clark told her teasingly.

"You know what I mean. It wouldn't be the same if you played with it now. I mean a video game is one thing, but you can't recapture the magic of bringing an action figure or stuffed animal to life, can you?"

"I suppose you can't."

"I mean it's not that being an adult doesn't have its good points, but I didn't get much of a chance to be a kid in a lot of ways. I goofed around in school, instead of applying myself and I don't know, I made a lot of mistakes too; sometimes I just wish I could go back and know now what I didn't know then, you know? Maybe get a chance to do some things right."

"Well, I understand, but I can't say I agree. We all wish we didn't make some of the mistakes we did, but at least it's over. I'm happy where I am now, aren't you?" he asked, slipping his hand over hers. "I have a great job, a great wife."

She smiled and kissed him. "So do I. Except for the wife part. It's not about being happy now. It's wishing I was happy then. Oh, well. Maybe it's old age setting in."

"You're 28," he said with a grin. "That's not old age."

They had reached their apartment. "I heard that once you hit 20, your body begins to decay back into dust."

"Now there's a cheerful thought. If you want to get technical, we're dying from the moment we're born."

"I know but you grow up and then you grow down."

"What brought this morbid thinking on?" he asked as he pushed the elevator button.

"I don't know. It's not really morbid. I was just explaining why I wish that I was a child again sometimes. Just a conversation piece. You don't want us to become one of those couples who have nothing to say to each other anymore, do you?"

"Somehow I don't think we're at risk for becoming one of those couples," he said, taking out the keys.

"It really is a nice apartment, isn't it?" he continued, as they went inside their apartment.

"It's nice, but I liked our old one too."

"This is only our second night. You'll like it a lot better when you get used to it."

"It's so big," she said, as she started to undress.

"If we're going to start a family, we need a bigger apartment," he said, hanging his clothes up neatly in the closet, while Lois threw hers onto the floor by her side of the bed.

"I suppose that's one way to recapture childhood, right? Having children?"

"Now you're talking," he said, kissing her good night. "We can work on recapturing it tomorrow, since we have the day off."

"Well, that's a charming way of putting it," she said, giving him another kiss. She turned over on her side. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said, flipping off the light.

---

Clark stretched the next morning. With his eyes still closed, he felt for Lois. He puzzled over her form. It felt smaller than usual, much smaller. He reasoned that he must not be fully awake yet, but his eyes snapped wide open to check.

Lois was the size of a 5 year old. In fact, she was a 5 year old.

"Lois!" he called, shaking her as hard as he dared. "Lois!"

She pulled the blanket over her head. "Leave me alone, Clark. It's our day off," she said in a grouchy, but young-sounding voice.

"Lois, you better take a look at yourself in the mirror."

She sighed to show her annoyance, but she complied. She got out of bed seemingly unaware of her smaller stature or that her pajama bottoms were gone and her pajama top had become more of a nightgown. She got to the dresser with the mirror.

"What the—"

Clark came over and lifted her so she could see her reflection.

"Please, tell me I'm still dreaming," she said pleadingly.

"I'm afraid not, honey. I think you got your wish."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

"How could this happen?" Lois demanded as soon as Clark set her back down.

"I don't know. I guess it goes back to being careful what you wish for."

"Zatanna," they said together.

"I'll see if I can't find her. Are you going to be okay if I leave you alone?"

"I'm not really 5, Smallville. I'll be fine," she said with her arms on her hips.

"You're so cute. I hope our children look like you."

She glared. "Now is not the time to talk about children or my cuteness. Find Zatanna."

Once he was gone, Lois rummaged through the closet, hoping to find some better fitting clothes, but found nothing. She almost wished she was a skimpier dresser; then she might have something that actually fit.

Clark came back an hour later with no success and a paper bag. "I couldn't find her, but I'm not giving up. I just wanted to give you an update and I thought you could use this."

Lois opened the bag and pulled out shorts and a t-shirt. "You have got to be kidding me. A Powerpuff Girls t-shirt?"

"I thought it was very you," he said, trying to keep the smile off his face.

"I'm wearing this because my pajama top is driving me crazy, but you had better find a way to change me back quickly."

"I will," he told her seriously. "Do you mind if I take a shower and eat first?"

"Go ahead," she said with a sigh.

Once he was in the shower, she eyed the Powerpuff Girls t-shirt with disdain. "Very me. I think that man wants an early grave," she muttered.

The doorbell rang and Lois hurried to answer it, hoping it was Zatanna.

It was the next-door neighbor, a plump middle-aged lady, who had come with a casserole dish in her hand. "I just wanted to welcome you to the apartment building," she said, looking straight ahead. Then she lowered her eyes to find out who had opened the door. "Oh, hello, little girl. Is your father and mother in?"

"My mother is dead," she said bluntly.

"Oh," stammered the woman. "I thought I saw—never mind. I'm Ms. Lambert, sweetheart."

"And I'm Ms. Lane, dear," she replied with the same condescending baby voice.

"My, aren't you an ill-bred young lady," she said, her voice becoming more adult-like. "Where is your father?"

She started to say in Bolivia, but realized she better change her parent. "He's in the shower."

"Oh. Why are you wearing that?" she asked, pushing her way into the apartment.

"It was my mother's and I'm not supposed to let strangers in," Lois said darkly.

The woman set her dish on the table. "I'm no stranger. I'm your neighbor." She found the clothes Clark had brought. "Ah, here we go. You better change into this. You don't want to be late for school."

Lois folded her arms, "I don't go to school. Now if you'd kindly—"

The woman tisked. "Your father ought to know better than that. You must get enrolled immediately."

"Cl—Dad!" Lois called.

Clark came running out of the shower with nothing on. He quickly grabbed a potted plant to cover himself before Ms. Lambert spotted him.

"I am appalled at you, Mr. Lane," the woman gasped.

"Kent," he corrected.

"Oh," she sniffed. "Kent. Not only is your daughter not in school, but you go around the apartment naked?"

"No, ma'am. You see—"

"I live right next door and I can pop over to see this sweet child anytime," she said, patting Lois' head.

Ms. Lambert didn't notice that the sweet child was about to kick her in the shin. "Lois," Clark hissed warningly under his breath.

"Now don't go blaming your poor daughter. I want to see her in school and you fully clothed when I come over here in the future. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Clark said.

"My daughter is a social worker. Isn't that interesting?"

"Very," he answered.

"Good, I'm glad we have an understanding," Ms. Lambert said, leaving the apartment with a self-righteous carriage.

"Starting to miss our old apartment yet?" Lois asked. 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Clark came back into the living room dressed. "We have to talk."

"Then talk," she said, going into the kitchen and pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Should you be drinking that?" he asked.

She glowered at him and then took a sip.

He cleared his throat. "I think Ms. Lambert is the kind of person—"

"Busybody you mean," Lois interrupted.

"Whatever you want to call her. She will probably follow through on her threats, especially since her daughter is a social worker."

"So don't go around the apartment naked. It's an offense to my childhood senses anyway."

"She stipulated more than my nakedness if you'll remember."

"Oh no, you are not sending me to school."

"Lois, the last thing we need is the law getting involved. I think we should just play along with Ms. Lambert until we get this straightened out."

"Well, then leave me at your mom's. She'll never know the difference."

"I can't take the chance that she will follow through and check to see. It could get us into some serious legal trouble. Because frankly, you're just a little taller than the average 5 year old and no one will believe you're not supposed to be in school."

"Well, then homeschool me for Pete's sake! You can't possibly be thinking of enrolling me in a regular school."

"Lois, it's only temporary until I can find Zatanna. You probably won't even be in there for a full day. I'll tell them I only found out about you and your mother hasn't given me any information on you, but I thought I should get you enrolled right away."

She rolled her eyes. "This can't be happening to me."

---

The beak-nosed secretary peered down at her through her gold rimmed glasses once all the paperwork was finished. "I will escort her to her classroom."

"Oh," Clark said, putting a hand on Lois' shoulder. "I was hoping I could walk her there."

"We find it best if the children go alone. It cuts down on separation anxiety. So say goodbye to her here."

Clark got down on his knees to hug her goodbye. "It'll be fine," he assured her.

She whispered in his ear, "You better get me out of this hellhole today and I mean today."

"I'll do my best," he told her and he started to get up.

She grabbed him by his collar and jerked him back down. "I mean it. Today!"

He looked at the secretary to see what she was making of the scene and she looked very inquisitive. "She's afraid I won't pick her up," Clark told her. He turned back to Lois and said, "I will."

Lois sighed heavily and released his collar. Clark left the office, shooting her a sympathetic look before he went.

The secretary led her down the halls of Metropolis Elementary with its puce green floors and off white walls. The only thing that gave the dreary hallways any signs of life and childhood was the occasional bits of artwork.

The classroom was a little more welcoming than the hallways. It seemed chucked full of toys and more artwork than the Louvre.

The teacher talked in an overly cheerful voice, "Why, hello! Look class, we have a new student."

"Lois Lane Kent," the secretary said brusquely to the teacher before leaving.

The teacher was a young woman, who looked fresh out of college, with medium blonde hair and brightly colored clothes. "I'm Ms. Kenney," she told Lois, still speaking in those overly cheerful tones. She led her over to an empty desk. "This will be your desk," she explained, as she took a sharpie from her pocket to the nametag on the desk. Then she walked back to the front of the classroom.

Lois looked at the name Lois Kent that was made odd by being on a miniature school desk, but it was actually somewhat comforting. It was nice to have furniture that actually fit her again. What made the nametag even odder than being on a child's desk was the teddy bear border around it.

"I think in light of our new student, now would be the perfect time to practice our Ls."

A sea of kindergarten faces was watching Lois with interest, rather than Ms. Kenney.

"I couldn't make this nightmare up if I tried," Lois mumbled to herself and she buried her face into her arms.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Lois stabbed her fork into the mysterious meat with no intention of lifting the meat up to her mouth. It was mysterious because she wasn't sure she had ever seen meat quite that color before.

"You should have your mommy pack you a lunch," the boy across from her said.

"I don't have a mommy to pack my lunch."

"Well, your daddy then."

She scoffed. "My daddy wouldn't pack me a meal if I starving. Although, a certain family member might have put something together before he carted me off to this godforsaken place with food made to break a student's will to live. What is it with school lunches?"

The boy laughed. "You're weird." He put his hand out across the table. "My name is Carter."

"Lois," she said, shaking his hand.

"I know that," he said with a roll of his eyes. "You're the new student, not me."

"Right," she said distractedly, wondering if she should risk the jello.

---

Lois had sometimes fantasized during her high school physics class about going back to kindergarten as a kindergartener and amazing the teacher with her "advanced" math skills. That sounded nice in theory, but learning what you already knew was enough to bore you to tears, even more so than physics.

Mrs. Kenney held up math cards. "What number is this, Daniel?"

"4!" he shouted as if he had just discovered a cure for cancer.

"Great job," she praised, putting a chocolate kiss on his desk.

Lois was her next victim. "Can you tell me what this number is, Lois?"

"1," Lois answered unenthusiastically.

"Wonderful and if there were two 1s what would the number be?"

Lois sighed. "11."

"Fantastic," she said, placing 2 kisses on her desk.

Lois felt like a dog getting rewarded for a trick. She eyed the two kisses and then unfoiled them and popped the chocolate candy into her mouth. Nobody ever said there weren't benefits to being a dog.

Naptime was after math. Lois lay on the blue mat and stared up at the dark ceiling. She did not need a nap. This was undignified. She was older than the teacher and she had to take a nap. Ms. Kenney was—

Lois didn't finish that thought because Ms. Kenney flipped on the lights.

"We just got down on the mat," Lois blurted. "What happened to naptime?"

"You fell asleep," Ms. Kenney told her with a smile.

Lois thought about it as she put up her mat. She actually felt very refreshed from the 20 minute nap. Maybe a nap was nothing to turn her nose up at, but she didn't see Perry going in for naps, no matter how beneficial they were.

---

Lois was glad when 3:00 rolled around. It had been a long day. She couldn't imagine what a full school day would be like. She had fortunately got the shortened version.

30 minutes later, she was still waiting for her ride, along with a couple of other kindergarteners. They were in the cafeteria and watching anxiously through the clear doors for their cars. Lois was annoyed. He had super speed. Why was she getting picked up last? He had better have a good excuse that's all she had to say, as the girl next to her was working on getting her nose cleaned out and it was driving her crazy.

She wanted desperately to say something, but if the day had taught her anything, it was that kindergarteners cried at the drop of a hat literally. A girl had dropped her new hat on the playground and cried. She had made 3 kindergarteners cry today all by herself. Lois tried hard to keep quiet, but she couldn't take it anymore; she was about to push it up to 4. "Don't cry, little girl, but—" the sound of a car pulling up interrupted her.

Martha Kent got out of the car and peered through the doors with squinted eyes, trying to figure out which of the girls Lois was.

"Great, my mother-in-law is here to pick me up from kindergarten. This is so humiliating," Lois complained.

"What's a mother-in-law?" asked the girl, finally taking her finger out to hear the answer.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Martha had zeroed in on the right girl by locating the one that looked the most sullen, "Lois?"

Lois stood up, "Yeah."

One of the teachers in charge came over. "And you are?"

"She is my, uh, son's, um, little girl," Martha said.

"So you're her grandmother?" the woman asked.

Martha nodded.

"Are you on the approved pickup list?"

"I think so," Martha answered.

"I'm going to need you to go the office with me so we can double-check."

"She is my grandmother," Lois told her. "Don't I have a say in this?"

"We just need to be sure," she answered, using the voice made for children. Lois was getting very tired of that voice. It often came along with a condescending attitude.

They followed her to the office.

"Lois Kent, is it?" the secretary directed at Lois.

Lois gave a dour nod.

"And your name, please, ma'am?" she asked Martha.

"Martha Kent," she said politely.

"Yes, she's on the pickup list," the secretary said, after bringing up the information on the computer. "May I seem some id, Mrs. Kent?"

Martha showed the woman her driver's license.

The teacher gave her nod of approval and hurried back to cafeteria duty.

"You can't go where you want, when you want, with who you want," Lois told Martha once they were outside and alone. "Being a child again is so frustrating."

"I can imagine," Martha said sympathetically.

Lois started to climb into the front passenger seat.

"Oh, airbag, dear," Martha warned in an apologetic tone. "I'm afraid you have to get in the back."

"This sucks," Lois grumbled.

Martha's blue eyes went to the rearview mirror before they pulled out, "Are you buckled?" she asked.

Lois blew air from her lip in frustration, ruffling her bangs.

"I am sorry," Martha said as Lois buckled, "but it is a good habit to get into, child or not."

"Did he find Zatanna?" Lois asked eagerly as they got out on the road.

"He was sidetracked. Bombs have been planted in a number of state capitals. It's a terrorist plot. Sometimes I wonder what this world is coming too."

"Bombs?"

"Uh-huh," she confirmed.

"And I missed that? It would have been a great headline, tragic but newsworthy. Was anybody injured or killed?"

"No, thank God. Clark has defused them all, the last I heard."

"That's good. You know nobody ever tells kindergarteners anything," she said in an offended tone. Martha bit her lip to keep from laughing. "And yes, I realize how that sounds, but you have no idea what it's like to spend a day getting talked down to by adults. I can't take this another day. If he hasn't found Zatanna by tomorrow, I'll just call into school sick. Do you know that kindergarteners are emotional wrecks? They're like your teenage son times 10." She paused, "Well, maybe they're not quite as bad as your son was, but they're runner-ups. "

"Honey, they're still babies," Martha said with a small laugh. "They haven't gotten used to school yet."

"I started to tear up when my parents dropped me off for my first day of school and my dad said, 'Shape up, soldiers don't cry.' "

"That's terrible," Martha said.

Lois shrugged. "His idea of tough love I suppose. Mom didn't even go in because she was outside smoking. She always smoked when she got nervous. Anyway, I've never cried on school grounds since, so it must have worked."

Clark wasn't at the apartment yet when they got there.

"Do you want me to stay with you until Clark gets here?" she asked.

"It wouldn't hurt. Our nosy neighbor might pop into see how school went and get us, or Clark rather, for leaving me home alone."

"Clark told me about her."

"Yep, she's a piece of work."

"Well, it's good that she's looking out for children's interest, even if it's misdirected."

"I suppose that's one way to look at it." She picked up the remote. "I'm going to watch some TV if you don't mind. It's my only link to the adult world."

Martha smiled, "Sure. Go ahead."

Clark didn't get home until bedtime. Martha left and they got ready for bed.

"I picked you up some more clothes."

"Oh, great. You have time to go shopping? I thought you were supposed to be looking for Zatanna." She looked through the clothes. Clark hadn't gotten any more kiddy shirts. They were all clothes she might wear except in miniature. A nightgown was in there too.

"I have been looking for her. It worries me that I can't find her."

"It worries you? And you obviously have no hope of finding her in the near future with all these clothes."

"I have hope. I just believe in being prepared. It may be awhile before I locate her."

"What are we going to tell Perry?"

"I'll cover for you. You have nothing to worry about."

"Nothing except that I might have to live through a second childhood."

"It won't come to that." He looked at the bed and then he looked at her. "And it's nothing against you, but perhaps we'd better sleep separately."

"I suppose we'd better," she said with a sigh. "I'm sure this is weird for you, seeing your wife in a child's body. I'll take the couch."

"No, you take the bed."

"I'm the smaller one. I'll be more comfortable on the couch.

"That's sweet of you. Thank you." He kissed her forehead.

"On the bright side, at least bright for you, if you wait 13 more years you can have a nice young wife."

"Don't joke like that," Clark told her.

"Who's joking?"

He shook his head and gathered a pillow and sheet for the couch, "Well, as long as you're looking on the bright side."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Lois had tried calling herself in sick the next morning, but the office had realized it was a kid's voice and had said no to marking her absent and Clark refused to call in sick for her. "Unless you're really throwing up, I can't, Lois."

"Why?"

"Well, for one thing, you know who is next door and she already came by this morning to make sure I had clothes on and you were getting ready for school. For another, it's better for you to have something to do because there's nothing you can do to help me in your condition."

"You're just loving this, aren't you? Getting to boss me around just because I look like a minor?"

"No, I'm really not. Now would you like me to pack you a lunch?"

"Yes, but do you realize how torturous kindergarten is?"

"Make some friends."

"Are you serious?"

"You'd be surprised. Kids can be very valuable friends."

She grimaced. "Well, there was this one boy at lunch. He called me weird, but I don't think he minds me too much."

"There you go."

"But I am not playing Duck Duck Goose or Mother May I or whatever it is kids play now."

Clark smiled, "Then how are you supposed to make friends?"

---

"I have exciting news," Ms. Kenney announced to the class. "Metropolis' very own mayor is coming to speak to our class today. Does anybody know what a mayor is?"

Lois raised her hand for this question with a great eagerness. Ms. Kenney called on her, pleased Lois was finally taking an interest in school, "Yes, Lois?"

"A lying scumbag." Lois was well acquainted with Metropolis' mayor and he was well acquainted with her.

Ms. Kenney turned a little red. "Not quite. A mayor is a leader that helps the city. It's kind of like the Indian chiefs that we've been reading about at storytime. They have the same kind of job."

Why anyone would invite Mayor Crags into an elementary school to speak, Lois wasn't sure. He was probably one of the dirtiest, most scandalous mayors the city had ever seen. It was a miracle he was still in office and even more of a miracle that he was running for reelection.

Crags was a handsome, distinguished-looking man to be in his 50s, but that's where the phrase, appearances can be deceiving, came from. He was in his usual somber colored suit when he arrived, but realizing he was speaking to kids, he had traded his conservative tie for a colorful Garfield tie. "Hello, everybody, I am your very own mayor. Does anybody know why I'm here today?"

Lois raised her hand. Ms. Kenney looked leery, but there wasn't much she could do about it as Crags called on her. "You're here to brainwash children, so they can go home and tell their parents that Mr. Crags is a very nice, baby-kissing man and you will be reelected. Very classy."

Ms. Kenney coughed and took a sip of her water.

Crags was surprised, but it didn't phase him so much that he dropped his polite exterior. "What is your name, dear?"

"Lois Lane Kent," she answered him.

"Lois Lane," he repeated, as if he suspected that it was really the Daily Planet reporter masquerading in a child's body. "Are you any relation to the Lois Lane that works at the Daily Planet?"

She smiled. "I was named for her. And when I grow up, I want to be just like her."

Ms. Kenney sighed a sigh of relief, suddenly aware of where all of her vocabulary and complex ideas must have come from as a fan of Lois Lane.

Crags smiled back at Lois, although the smile didn't reach his eyes, "Frankly, honey, you could use a better role model."

She smirked, "Like you?"

"Exactly," he said, his smile becoming more genuine.

Crags blathered on about his job. Lois kept quiet until he asked if anyone had any questions. Lois was the only one with her hand up.

"Yes?" Crags asked, rather reluctantly.

"Is it true your wife is leaving you?"

His face went white. "It is true that we have our differences."

"Yes, I suppose when you sleep with the interns, the secretaries, and every other willing woman who darkens the door of your work building, that's quite a lot of differences."

Ms. Kenney looked scandalized that such an accusation, however true or untrue, was coming out of a 5 year old's mouth. Fortunately, it was going over the rest of the class' heads as Lois knew it would.

Crags' face had taken on a strangely purplish tone.

"Not that it would be anybody's business," Lois continued, "if you didn't use Metropolis' tax dollars to wine and dine them and buy them expensive jewelry."

"That has never been proven!" he exclaimed.

"Not yet, but it is only a matter of time. The truth always comes out sooner or later."

"Well," he said, addressing Ms. Kenney, "it is now clear to me why the American public school system is in dire trouble with children such as this."

"And it is clear to me why public schools are in trouble with politicians such as you," Lois retorted.

He left the classroom in a huff, forgetting to give the kids their free campaign buttons and balloons.

Class got back to normal. Ms. Kenney never said a word to her about it until the end of the day. She handed her a note to take home.

Martha had to pick Lois up again because Clark was still at work. Lois opened the envelope in the car. It was a note requesting a parent-teacher conference.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

"I feel ridiculous," Lois muttered to herself as she hid the note requesting a parent-teacher conference under the mattress. "But lately, what else is new?" It wasn't that she was afraid he was going to punish her. What was he going to do? Send her to bed without any supper? Give her a spanking? She simply didn't want him gloating about her inability to stay out of trouble and just thinking about Clark acting as her parent and talking with Ms. Kenney made her shudder.

Clark still hadn't found Zatanna. He said it was like she had disappeared off the face of the earth, but that he would keep looking. Lois wasn't too worried. She was annoyed though. She figured Zatanna was probably hiding on purpose.

---

"What did your father say about the note?" Ms. Kenney asked the next morning.

Lois put on her best innocent act, which as an adult would never have worked, but with a child's face, it worked decently well. "He said that he isn't going to take time off from work to go talk about his stinking kid. He already knows me. He doesn't need to hear the comments of some know-it-all teacher with a college education."

"Thank you, Lois," Ms. Kenney said.

"You're welcome," she said before going to her seat with relief. She had obviously succeeded.

---

At recess, she sat on the sidelines again, simply watching the kids. It was actually rather interesting watching the children play. Her eyes fell on a student in her class, who also sat on the sidelines. Ethan was autistic. During recess he would study the rocks like they were the most fascinating things in the world. Lois had tried to talk to him a couple of times, but he had ignored her. He would sometimes talk to himself. He seemed happy entertaining himself and not eager for company, so she let him be. Lois wished she was as good at entertaining herself. He looked like a very sweet kid and highly intelligent for a kindergartener.

She could tell Ms. Kenney was worried that she wasn't joining in the play at recess because she would shoot her worried glances every so often. She had a feeling that if there had been a parent-teacher conference that fact would have entered into the discussion.

Carter came over to her, red and out of breath from his playing, and invited her to come onto the playground equipment.

"Oh, what the heck. You only live once, right?" Lois replied.

She climbed up the play equipment stairs and then went down the metal slide. "Hey, I forgot how fun this was," she called up to Carter.

She stood up to go and try it again when she saw a couple of 3rd graders picking on Ethan. They appeared to be calling him names and dropping pebbles on his head. Ms. Kenney and the 3rd grade teacher, who were supposed to be watching the kids, were busy talking and didn't see the 3rd graders picking on Ethan.

She knew she really shouldn't get in a fight with children, but she couldn't exactly pick them up the back of their shirts and call their parents. This fight would be fair given her size and she wouldn't use her karate skills. She went over and held up her fists in a threatening manner, hoping that alone would make them back off. "Why don't you pick on somebody who can defend themselves?" she asked.

They snorted. "We're not going to fight a girl," one of them said.

"Well, I'm going to fight you. How does that strike you?"

It apparently didn't strike them very well, as they took the pebbles and started throwing them at her with force.

Lois managed not to get hit, but she forgot her promise to herself not to use karate. She knocked them to the ground. She was careful not to hurt them while she did it, because she realized they were still children. She took the rocks out of their hands.

The teachers had seen the 3rd graders getting knocked into the grass and came running over.

Ms. Kenney grabbed her right hand. To the boys, she said sharply, "We're going to the office. Let's go."

"Thank you," Ethan said before she was dragged away, surprising Lois. It had a rather emotionless sound to it and he didn't make eye contact, but she knew it was genuine. He never initiated conversation.

She gave him a wide smile. "You're welcome."

Lois sat on the hard wooden bench in the office waiting for her turn to see the principal. Ms. Kenney was in there with him. The boys had gone in first to tell their side of the story. Then it was Lois' turn. The principal looked stern. Ms. Kenny looked more sympathetic. They waited for her to take a seat.

"What happened?" Ms. Kenney inquired gently.

Lois figured she might as well come clean. "They were picking on Ethan and dropping rocks on his head. I had to do something."

"We don't tolerate fights, Lois, and you should learn that in kindergarten. If you see someone in trouble, you go tell a teacher," the principal told her.

"I plan on calling her father," Ms. Kenney told the principal.

He nodded, "I support that."

Lois leaned back against the chair and shut her eyes tight. She almost wished they were calling her father. He would take her side in this matter.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

"Hello, Mr. Kent?" said Ms. Kenney into the phone. "This is Ms. Kenney. I need to speak with you about your daughter." There was a pause. "Your daughter!" Ms. Kenney said more loudly into the phone. Lois couldn't help smiling. She could imagine the blank look he'd had when she said daughter the first time. "We need you to come to school. She was in a fight…Yes. Thank you."

"He is on his way," Ms. Kenney said to Lois. "You just need to wait in here and I'll be right back."

Lois settled onto the wooden bench as much as was possible. Didn't schools believe in comfortable furniture? She sighed.

Her attention focused onto the parents of the 3rd grade boys. One of the boys had a mother who was a teacher that worked at the school, so she had come immediately. She looked furious with him. She was really riding him down the road and the boy actually looked repentant. They were all getting suspended for the day, so she took him back with her to her preschool classroom. The other boy's father worked a couple of blocks away, so he came not long after the teacher had. He was less furious with his son and more furious with the school. "Did you know I'm missing time from work?" he demanded to the principal. "And for what? Because my son got into a scrape?" This boy looked belligerently at the principal and not a bit sorry for what he had done. It was easy to see where he had gotten his attitude from. The father grabbed his son's hand. "I'll take him home this time, but in the future, I expect you not to call me again over typical childhood behavior." Once the boy and father were gone, the principal shook his head in disgust and muttered, "Typical childhood behavior, my foot."

Clark came in a couple of minutes after the boy and father were gone. He looked at Lois, his eyebrows raised in question.

Ms. Kenney came back before she had time to tell him anything. "My kids are in music right now. Can we talk in my classroom?"

"Sure," Clark said. Lois got up and they followed Ms. Kenney to the classroom.

Clark had to sit in a kid-sized chair as they gathered around Ms. Kenney's desk.

"I know you don't like parent-teacher conferences," Ms. Kenney began.

"I don't?" Clark responded. "Where did you get that idea?"

Ms. Kenney looked at Lois and Lois looked at the wall.

"Well, I'm relieved to hear it," Ms. Kenney said. "It's very important for parents and teachers to communicate to ensure that students have the best education possible. I had wanted to talk with you this afternoon, but parent-teacher conferences are on Friday. Why don't we talk more in depth on Friday? I'll give you the 3:30 time slot."

"That sounds fine."

"Aren't we busy that afternoon?" Lois asked Clark.

"I don't think so, honey," he replied with a smile.

"These 3rd grade boys were picking on a boy in our class and your daughter got physical with them. To be frank with you, I think the boys deserved every bit of it—"

"You're darn right they did," Lois interrupted.

"But our school has a zero tolerance policy on violence of any kind, so she will have to go home after this," Ms. Kenney continued. "How are things at home?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Clark asked a bit nervously.

"Are you and your wife getting along?"

Clark looked at Lois. He wasn't sure if they were.

"I'm not trying to be nosy, but sometimes children react to what's going on at home."

"No. Yes. I mean we're separated. I'm a single father," Clark answered.

"Oh. Well, does she have siblings that she fights with?"

"No. It's just her and me."

"Has she slept good this week? Does she get a full 10 or 11 hours?"

Clark shifted uncomfortably as much as the little chair allowed. The first night this week when she was still an adult, Lois hadn't even gotten 4 hours of sleep. He turned a deep red. Lois hid a smile, knowing that he was thinking about how they had christened the apartment.

"What time does she usually go to bed?" Ms. Kenney asked, rephrasing the question.

"Oh, I guess about 10:00 or 11:00."

"She should get in bed earlier."

Clark nodded in agreement. "I've told her that for years. I mean since she was a baby. She wouldn't have to drink so much coffee if she went to bed at a decent hour."

"Your—your daughter drinks coffee?" Ms. Kenney asked with widened eyes. "Well, that would certainly explain a lot. I think Lois is a lovely child, but she is very impulsive and the caffeine may be part of the cause."

Clark had visibly lightened up and was now enjoying himself immensely. "I think so too. I mean you don't give coffee to a person who—"

Lois had slipped her foot around the front leg of his chair and given it a tug. Clark's balance was so precarious that he fell before finishing his comment.

"Are you alright, Mr. Kent?" Ms. Kenney asked, standing up.

"I'm fine," he said, shooting Lois a dirty look.

"I would like to go on with this conversation, but I must go pick up my class. We'll continue this on Friday, okay?" she said and then she hurried to the music room.

"Was that really necessary?" Clark asked Lois.

"You were talking too much."

"You made it look like my daughter is in charge."

"You did a pretty good job of that all by yourself, but you do look like a sucker in the black rimmed glasses, so I don't think anybody's that surprised."

He shook his head in frustration, "Come on we better get home. I can't believe you knocked me out of my chair." They started walking down the hallway. "Did you always get in fights like this?" he asked.

She looked at him in surprise, "Fights like what?"

"When you were in school, were you always in these sorts of fights? You know taking down the bullies?"

She smiled, "Occasionally. I never got in a fight that wasn't provoked. Well, you were there for some of them. Remember my infamous kick to the stomach in college? I'm much quicker on the verbal end of things though. I only get into a physical fight if I absolutely have to."

"That's very true. We never change as much as we think we do. Your basic personality is always there, no matter what age you are."

"You know my dad would get called in and he never told me so, but I knew he was proud of me, whether I won or lost, because they were just. You could see it in his eyes. I remember that distinctly because it was the only time he was proud of me growing up."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"No, it's true. He had plenty of opportunities to be proud of Lucy. Lucy could play the violin, speak German, Mandarin, and Spanish fluently, make straight A's and what could I do? Skip school? Play video games? I had no skills."

"Sure you did. You've always been witty and you got a black belt in karate, didn't you?"

"Exactly. I could fight and he was proud of me for that."

"Well, now he's proud of your journalism career and for growing up to be a good person in general." He took her hand, "I'm proud of you too, not in a fatherly way of course, but proud."

"Thanks and I just want you to know that I'm not giving up my coffee."

"I figured as much, but for the record, I agree with your teacher."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

The first activity of the day was finger painting.

"This is kind of therapeutic," she told Makayla, who was painting beside her. Makayla scrunched up her nose, having no idea what therapeutic meant. Lois continued, "This is my friend Zee and this is me strangling Zee." Lois dipped her thumb in the brown paint and made her hair a little longer.

Makayla didn't know what strangling meant either, but she knew Lois was describing her picture, so she said, "This is my house and my Mommy and my Daddy."

"Very nice," Lois told her.

The cup of paint Lois held slipped out of her hand and hit the floor. Some of it fell on her smock, but the other part had gotten on her shoes. Before she could stop herself an expletive came from her mouth and it was loud enough for everyone to hear. The classroom instantly became quiet. Some students recognized the word as a bad word and some didn't, but they could all feel the tension that had settled in the room. Lois felt a presence behind her. She bent her head back to look. Ms. Kenney towered over her and she looked none too pleased. "Did you just say what I think you said?" she asked.

"You mean fudge?" Lois asked hopefully.

"Nice try," said Ms. Kenney. "We don't use words like that at school. And did I hear you describe your picture correctly?" Ms. Kenney didn't wait for an answer this time. She pulled out her walkie talkie and asked for a Mr. Applebee. Lois wasn't sure who Mr. Applebee was, but she was sure whoever he was, it wasn't good.

The next thing she knew a tall, gangly, balding man was leading her to his room. He was a guidance counselor, which to Lois was just a fancy word for a shrink. "I don't need a shrink," she muttered. "I need magic."

"What did you say?" Mr. Applebee asked.

"Nothing."

---

Lois filled in the last dot. She had been taking tests. She could tell one was an emotional IQ test and one was a regular IQ test.

Mr. Applebee smiled and took the tests from her, "Now let's talk."

"About what?" she asked, as she sat back in her chair. It was actually quite comfortable and not by accident she knew.

"Is anything or anyone bothering you?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is someone. You."

He cleared his throat. "Anyone else? What about your friend Zee? Ms. Kenney said something about you wanting to strangle Zee. Would you like to explain?" He looked calm and friendly on the surface, but Lois could tell he was a little edgy because his Adam's apple was bobbing up and down. It seemed he thought she might explode and strangle him any minute now. Maybe he could sense on a subconscious level that a real child wasn't lurking beneath the surface.

She rolled her eyes, "I didn't mean it literally. It was an expression."

"But you drew a picture of it," he pointed out.

She shrugged, "I'm not that creative, so sue me."

"What has Zee done?"

Lois knew she should just keep her mouth shut, but she was getting more and more annoyed with Zee as time went on and it felt good to unload. "She did her little voodoo and disappeared. She's the reason I'm in this godforsaken place."

"I see. So Zee is your imaginary friend?"

"She'll wish she was imaginary before I get through with her," Lois answered honestly.

Mr. Applebee leaned forward in his chair and asked, "Is she here now?"

"No, she's not here now!"

Mr. Applebee leaned back. "It's okay. You're safe here. There's no need to shout. Are you angry at anyone else?"

"I'm starting to get pretty fed up with you."

"Is it safe to say you don't like school?"

"I'd say so," Lois said, folding her arms.

"And you take it out on your imaginary friend?" he prodded.

Lois threw her hands up in frustration and gave in, "Sure."

"Hmm," he said. "Well, I think you can go back to class now, Lois. I've really enjoyed getting to know you and I'll be talking to you some more."

"I look forward to it," she said with a fake smile.

Once she was out the door, she thought to herself, "I think I need to do some more finger painting."

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

"You swore in front of those kids?" Clark asked Lois.

"I didn't swear so much as—okay I swore, but it's nothing they won't hear on TV. How did you find out about that anyway?"

"Ms. Kenney doesn't trust you with notes anymore," he tried to stay sternly, but he couldn't keep the amusement out of his voice. "She also said something about a guidance counselor. Care to explain that?"

"Oh, kiss my—"

"Careful, Lois. You better get out of the habit of that before you get in more trouble. What are you going to do when we have kids?"

"They will have a wide vocabulary."

He shook his head. "You know my parents were in perfect agreement about teaching me not to cuss. We're not going to be in agreement on this one, are we?"

She shrugged, "If you want to teach our kids to have clean speech, I don't mind. Just don't expect their mother to follow suit."

---

"Mom's sick," Clark told Lois the following morning.

"Is she okay?" Lois asked, worriedly.

"She'll be fine, but there's no school today because of parent-teacher conferences. Who are we going to get to watch you?"

"I guess you have no choice but to leave me here. There's no way I'm going to let you call a babysitter."

"But what about—" Clark began, but he was interrupted by knocking on the door. Clark used his x-ray vision to see who it was. "And speaking of the devil."

"I couldn't help but notice that Lois isn't in school," Ms. Lambert said to Clark when he opened the door, without so much as a hello.

"Of course, you couldn't. You watch me leave every morning through your blinds," Lois retorted.

"Delightful child," Ms. Lambert told her smilingly, but it was obvious she wasn't that amused that Lois knew she spied through her blinds.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I have the day off," Lois told her.

Ms. Lambert turned her attention back to Clark. "You weren't thinking of leaving this little girl home alone, were you?"

Clark got a strange look in his eyes and Lois knew he was thinking of letting Ms. Lambert watch her.

"Of course not," Lois said. "Daddy's taking me to work."

Clark's eyes widened. As soon as the satisfied Ms. Lambert was gone, Clark asked, "Are you out of your mind?"

She shrugged, "It's not like any of them knew me as a child. Just give me an alias for work. We can say that I'm a cousin of Lois and call me…Anne."

"Anne?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "I don't know."

"It would explain any resemblance they spot."

"What would you do? It's not like you could chase down stories."

"I'd find a way to keep myself amused."

"That's what I'm afraid of." He gave a deep sigh. "I suppose it might work out."

---

"Where in the world is Lane!" Perry yelled when he saw Clark.

Lois stepped out from behind Clark.

"Who is this?" he asked, looking at her as if he knew he should recognize her but didn't.

"This is Anne," Clark answered, hoping he sounded normal and convincing. Lying was pretty much an everyday activity for him, but it had never become easy. "Lois' little cousin. She's staying with us for a little while and I thought I would show her where we work."

"Where is Lois?"

"Still sick, chief. My mother has it now too. It's a nasty bug. It must be the flu."

"It's peculiar she hasn't tried to sneak back into work, sick or not. She really must be feeling poorly. I'll stop by on the way home and visit with her."

"Oh, she's not really up to that, sir, and you shouldn't risk catching it."

"I suppose you're right. I'll just send some flowers." He started to walk away much to Clark's relief, but then he turned back. "Oh, and I have a video game system in my office that I never use. My son gave it to me. He said that it would help me relieve stress, but all it has done is make me more stressed. I don't know how you're supposed to work those stupid controllers and the screen moves so fast, but young people seem to like it."

Lois followed him into the office. The small TV and game system was set up in the corner. Perry brought a chair over to her.

"If only I was getting paid for this," Lois said to herself, while the PS3 came on.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing."

Lois played a Zelda game while Perry got down to work.

Johnson, the newbie, came in, "I have the piece on the Founder's Day celebration."

"Hmm," Perry commented after reading it.

"Is that a good hmm or a bad hmm?" Johnson asked nervously.

"It's passable. I was just thinking that I gave the same story to Lane when she first started working on this floor and she uncovered scams going on at the celebration. But I suppose it's unfair to compare. Lane has a talent for sniffing out dirt and intrigue, the best I've ever seen. Some reporters just see what's on the surface and that's okay. It won't win you a Pulitzer or a promotion, but it'll do. Oh, and your desk isn't far from Kent's. Have him read your articles before you bring them back. Lane might be the better reporter, but Kent is the better writer."

"Yes, sir. Thank you for the advice, sir," Johnson said, still sounding nervous and scurrying out in a hurry.

"Oh, and by the way," Perry said, getting Lois' attention. "Don't tell your cousin what you just heard."

"She won't hear it from me," Lois said with a smile.

Lois had just gained the ability to turn into a wolf on the game. She paused it and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Perry asked.

"To the ladies room."

"Oh, of course. Go ahead."

---

While Lois washed her hands, there were 2 women using the restroom as a gossip room. She pulled down a paper towel and wiped her hands, not paying it any attention until she heard her name. She slowed down the process of drying her hands so she could hear their conversation.

"Oh my gosh, she's such a floozy." Lois recognized her as a writer of the gossip column, Sherry something or other.

"I think she is just pretending she's sick when Clark's there and having an affair when he's at work. 'Cause face it, when else does she have the time? They're with each other all the time. It's hard to cheat on your husband if you work with him. There's no staying late at the office." This woman was Melody, who had a Dear Abby kind of column. She always seemed so nice. Lois was rather surprised.

"I didn't think about that, but you're right. You know Randy said he drove by their house yesterday and Lois didn't look sick to him and she was with a man."

She gasped, "Do you think Clark knows? I wonder who the man was. Superman?"

Sherry rolled her eyes, "Don't believe everything you read in the tabloids. As much as she throws herself at him, he's too good for her. No, it's probably the cable guy or—"

"That does it!" Lois said, tossing the paper towel into the trash. "Who do you two think you are?"

"Excuse me?" Sherry asked with raised eyebrows at the little girl.

"I happen to know Lois very well and you couldn't be further from the truth."

"Listen, honey—" Melody began.

"Don't honey me, you viper. I know now that nice act is a phony facade."

"I think someone needs a nap," Sherry said. "And who's supposed to be watching you?"

"I think you ladies are the ones who need a chaperone. Either you lack moral character or your own life is so humdrum, you need a little excitement. I've got news for you. This isn't As the Planet Turns. Save your gossip for the paper."

The two women walked out of the restroom, shaken and offended. Lois went after them. "Come back here. I'm not through with you yet. I still want to tell you where you and Randy can shove your juicy gossip." The women walked a little faster.

Clark quickly jumped up and went over to intervene. "Anne, can I talk to you in private for a minute?"

She didn't look happy that he had stopped her from pursuing her conversation further, but she followed him to the elevator.

After the doors closed, one of the men leaned over to his desk buddy. "You know what's creepy about that little girl?"

"She seems like an adult stuck in a child's body?" he supplied.

"No, that's not quite it," he said, still trying to come up with the answer himself.

"She's an exact copy of Lane?"

He snapped his fingers, "That's it."

"All I have to say is if the whole family's like that, that's not a family I want to meet."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

"Lois," said Clark, once they were alone on the roof. "I thought you promised you would be inconspicuous. Chasing two women out of the restroom and yelling at them is not exactly inconspicuous."

"But you should have heard them, Clark. They were making up the most ridiculous lies. One person even said they saw me with a man at the apartment this week. I was in school for gosh sakes. There wasn't even a situation for them to misconstrue, unless some woman breaks into our apartment while we're not there. The liars! I can't help but wonder if they're always gossiping about us like this when our backs are turned."

"Trust me, Lois. No one dares gossip about you with even the possibility of you being in the vicinity. They're just taking advantage of your missed days."

"Cowards. How come no one ever gossips in front of me?"

"Because they realize you would still get ticked off even if it wasn't about you, but don't be offended. People don't really gossip in front of me either. I don't know if it's because they think I'd get mad or what."

Lois snorted. "It's because you have one of those I'm-innocent faces that says you wouldn't like things like gossip."

"Really?"

"Really. I'm aware that your face isn't always as innocent as it appears, I'm just telling you what people think."

"Do you think you can manage not to stir up any more trouble? I need to go out on another search for the perpetrator and I'd feel better if I knew you were staying out of trouble."

"I'll be a good little girl and stay with Uncle Perry," she said sarcastically.

"Thank you."

The rest of the day was uneventful as Lois played Zelda and Clark came up empty in the search.

The time approached for the conference. As they were leaving, they bumped into Jimmy.

"Where are you going, Mr. Kent?" he asked.

"I have to go to a meeting and I'm taking Lois' cousin with me."

"I hope it's not a dangerous meeting," he said, whispering the dangerous part.

"No, nothing like that. Listen, I'll see you. I don't want to be late. It's going to be a very interesting meeting."

"If I were you, I wouldn't enjoy it too much," Lois said warningly.

Jimmy snapped a picture of them. "You're just so cute together. I had to take a picture."

"Give me that camera," Lois said with her hand stuck out.

"Sorry, but this costs a lot of money," Jimmy explained. To Clark, he said, "I think Lois will be interested in seeing the picture."

"Give me that camera," Lois repeated and attempted to charge him.

Clark scooped her up and carried her off.

"I don't want this immortalized," she was saying to Clark. "Jimmy!" she shouted when he snapped another picture.

---

Carter and his mother were leaving as they got there, having had the appointment before them.

His mother had long straight blonde hair and those fake glue on nails with little blue stars and orange suns alternating. She put her hands on her knees and bent down to Lois. "Carter's told me so much about you," and then she shook Lois' hand. To Clark she winked and said, "I think somebody has c-r-u-s-h."

"I think somebody needs to s-h-u-t-u-p," Lois said, recognizing that the woman was being flirty with Clark.

Clark pulled Lois closer to him as a way of trying to keep her quiet and the woman was a little closer than he liked. "Kids. She's a little big for her britches. She doesn't have a mother to take her under hand."

Clark knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment the words left his mouth, partly because Lois punched his leg and partly because he knew it marked him as single father.

"I have to—to go," he stammered.

Carter's mother was giving Clark a wide smile. It was definitely clear that she was a single parent herself.

"Listen, lady—" Lois began.

Ms. Kenney opened the door to her classroom and greeted them smilingly. "Come in, Mr. Kent, Lois."

Ms. Kenney had saved the day by keeping the conversation from going any further. Clark was visibly relieved.

"Go play with the blocks, honey," Ms. Kenney said. Lois sullenly went over to the rug and pulled out the basket of Lego blocks.

Ms. Kenney had an adult-sized chair this time due to parent-teacher conferences.

"I want to start off by saying Lois is a delight to have in the classroom."

"Really?" Clark asked, not sure if Ms. Kenney was being honest with him.

"She is amazingly gifted. She's on a college level in almost every academic area but spelling."

Clark tried hard not to laugh. "What level is she in with spelling?"

"Lois is in the within-word pattern stage. In other words, she's on the same spelling level as a 7-9 year old, which is still advanced for her age."

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?"

There was the sound of hundred of little Legos crashing to the floor. He could tell Lois was ticked. He sobered a little.

"I'm also concerned that she's not ready socially," Ms. Kenny continued. "She doesn't play very well with the other children. She's competitive and a bit of a loner. I think she could greatly benefit from staying in kindergarten with her peers to learn social cues and cooperation."

"Those are definitely areas she could use a little work in." A block came flying over and hit Clark's head.

"Oh, sorry, Daddy. I'm socially inept," Lois said in a sweet-sounding tone.

"I will give her advanced work," Ms. Kenney said, frowning in Lois' direction. Then she turned her attention to Clark. "Please, don't think I was eavesdropping earlier, but I couldn't help overhearing. Lois seems very attached to you. She clearly isn't thrilled with you seeing anyone but her mother, which isn't uncommon. You should talk with her when you're ready to pursue dating other women."

"I will," he lied. That was a conversation that would never need to come up.

Ms. Kenney showed Clark her work and her test scores.

"I think she should continue meeting with the guidance counselor. Do you have any concerns?" she said, bringing the conference to an end.

"None that you can help me with I'm afraid, but thank you," he said, shaking her hand.

Once they were out of the classroom, Lois spoke, "That was a waste of time and poor Carter. Can you imagine going through life with a flirty mother? That's bound to get embarrassing when he gets older."

"She wasn't that bad."

"Defending your girlfriend?" Lois asked mockingly.

Clark turned the tables and said with a grin, "You didn't tell me you have a boyfriend in kindergarten. Should I be jealous?"

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

It was a bright Saturday morning, outside at least. Lois sat on the barstool in the kitchen, her head resting on one hand, while the other hand felt the wedding ring that hung on a chain around her neck. Clark was making pancakes.

"Soak my pancakes in rum," Lois told him. "No, forget the pancakes. Just give me the rum."

He shot her a look, "I don't think so."

"Kindergarten is driving me to drink. I'm at the brink of insanity and I'm not really 5."

"That's a fact I'm well aware of, but your body is, therefore you cannot drink without detrimental consequences. Just think how low your tolerance level would be."

"You're such a…a," Lois searched for the appropriate insult, "an adult!"

He placed her pancakes in front of her. "One of us has to be responsible. That person isn't you, and I'm not referring to your childlike appearance, you were irresponsible before that."

She took a heavy sigh before picking up her fork. He took the barstool next to her. He gently smoothed her hair. "I know you're worried, but don't be. It hasn't even been a full week yet. I'm going to spend all day and all night looking for answers. I think she's hiding behind magic and that's making it tough, but I promise the task isn't impossible. Who knows? Maybe she gave it a time stipulation."

He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. She patted his knee for trying to cheer her up and then they ate their pancakes.

Lois tried hard to be more cheerful. She helped him carry the dirty dishes to the sink. "I can't wash them. The sink's too high for me. I guess there are some advantages to my young age after all."

He rolled his eyes. Before he could reply, the door bell rang.

"If that's Ms. Lambert, I swear," Lois said as she followed Clark to the door. She put her wedding ring back under her shirt. Both were surprised to find Carter and his mother.

The woman didn't wait for an invitation but came in. "I found your address on the internet and tracked you down," she said.

"Stalker," Lois said to Clark.

"I thought we should arrange a little play-date," Carter's mother continued, apparently not noticing what Lois had said.

"Play-date for whom?" Lois said wryly.

Clark would have loved to have a good reply for Lois, but he happened to agree with her. Carter's mother wasn't dressed like a mother should be dressed. She definitely had her sights set out for him.

"Well, normally one sets up an appointment first over the phone," Clark said politely, but he took a step back.

Carter's mother took a step forward, but it was seemingly to talk to Lois. "Why don't you show Carter to your bedroom and you two can play with your toys."

"The toys in my bedroom are not exactly age-appropriate," Lois responded frankly.

Clark let out a strangled cough.

"Well, go hang out in her bedroom, Carter," his mother said. "You can use your imagination."

"That's not necessary," Clark said. "Stay out here and play."

"Do you want to get a snack?" Lois asked. "Help yourself."

Carter stood there for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. He was getting 3 different directions from 3 different people. He decided to follow Lois' directions and get a snack.

Clark was alarmed when Lois went into their bedroom because that left him and Carter's mother alone, but she came back out in the nick of time. Carter's mother had him cornered.

Lois had gotten one of her bras and was waving it around. "Look, Daddy. Jeremy left his bra when he spent the night with you last night."

"I just remembered. Carter has an appointment," Carter's mother said suddenly. She hurried into the kitchen and retrieved Carter. He was dragged back out of the apartment with a cookie still in hand.

"And that, Smallville," she said, wiping her hands together after she shut the door behind them, "is how it's done."

"Thank you," Clark said, collapsing onto a chair with relief. "You could have thought of something better than that, but thank you."

She shook her head at him. "I'm going to have to teach you how to fend off women."

After taking a breather, he changed into his Superman costume. "I'm going to—" he began, but he stopped.

"121 Grimwald Rd. Help! ~Z" read the purplish pink sparkling letters. "Do you see that?" he said, pointing to the message that was suspended in midair. It was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.

"Come on. Let's check out the address."

"We are not checking out anything. You are staying here."

She put her hands on her hips. "If you leave me here, I'll find a way to get there on my own. If I have to grab a pillow and car keys, I will."

He shut his eyes briefly and then opened them. "I guess it is better than letting you out of my eyesight. Who knows what kind of trouble she's in and what kind of trouble you could get into?"

He scooped her up and they went to find out what had happened to Zatanna.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

"An abandoned warehouse," Lois muttered, as they surveyed the place that the address had led them to. "That figures. You know when they close a warehouse down, they might as well hang a sign out that reads "Welcome Criminals. Make yourselves at home."

Clark tried the front door to the warehouse. It wasn't locked as one might expect it to be. They went in cautiously to search.

Their footsteps echoed as they looked around the warehouse. It was dark and dusty. It was also strangely quiet except for the occasional patter or squeak of a mouse or rat.

"Are you sure this is the right address?" she asked.

He whipped out his cell phone and typed in 121 Grimwald Road. "No other location is coming up. This has to be it."

"Well, let's keep looking then. If it's got anything to do with magic, of course it wasn't going to be as easy as busting into a warehouse."

They began walking carefully, covering every square inch and touching any objects they saw. Lois tripped and before Clark could catch her, she fell through an invisible wall and disappeared. He followed her and went through the same invisible wall. It took them to a white, swirling dimension. Zatanna, Lois, and Clark were the only solid, visible people or things in it.

Zatanna was wrapped in an electric blue rope, clearly of a magical nature and not tangible enough to take off, even with super strength.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You know I'm powerless against magic. Is there anyone I can get to help you?"

"Too late," Lois said, seeing the villain come into view.

The man looked almost comical in a sorcerer-like attire. He wore a black cloth with silver moons and stars threaded into it. The only thing missing was a cape and pointed hat. He was holding Zatanna's spell book in his hands.

"I see you brought friends. How charming. I'll be sure to find an interesting spell for them," he said, flipping through the book. "How fun it will be to take down the person heralded as the greatest superhero of our time, perhaps of all times. The little girl will be less fun, but an amusement nonetheless."

"Can't you call the book to yourself?" Clark asked Zatanna in a whisper.

She shook her head. "Not when a spell from the book has me entangled. I'm as powerless as you are against his magic. I was only able to call you for a second when my bonds were off, because the spell weakens when he's gone for too long, but he always comes back and strengthens it."

The sorcerer found the spell he had been looking for. He put his hand out ready to cast the spell and he made sure to look at them. Apparently, the spell required the sorcerer to put a hand out and to be able to see the person or persons the spell was for.

Clark grabbed Lois and super sped behind him.

The sorcerer turned around with his hand still out. He knew Superman was the one he had to worry about. He mumbled the spell quickly with his hand still out. Clark got the same blue bonds around him that Zatanna had. "There that's to hold you until I find an especially good spell."

Lois charged the man before he turned his attention to her. He was taken off guard, as he hadn't been expecting an attack from a little girl. The book flew from his hands and Zatanna caught it neatly into her restrained hands.

Having the book in her hands, removed the bonds. Zatanna stretched her arms, glad to be free from the bonds. Then she freed Clark. The sorcerer knew the game was up and that he was powerless without the book. He tried to run, but Clark caught the would-be sorcerer. Zatanna cast a spell that sent them all back to the real world and cut off the entrance to the dimension. Then Clark super sped him to jail.

Lois and Zatanna were left alone in the warehouse. "Now that that is over, you have some explaining to do," Lois said, folding her arms, and somehow looking more intimidating than any villain Zatanna had ever faced, even with her small stature. 

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

"You wanted to be turned into a child," Zatanna said, trying to reason with Lois.

"I wanted to be a child again, but I didn't want to be a child again."

"That makes plenty of sense," Zatanna said dryly.

"I don't want your wisecracks. I want my adult body back if you don't mind."

Zatanna complied and mumbled her spell, changing her back. Then she said, "I knew you didn't really want to be a child again. My purpose was only to show you why. I didn't mean for it to go on for so long, but then you know what happened. We should always strive to live in the present."

"Thank you, oh wise teacher. Next time, would you just not be so quick with the hocus pocus. There are other ways to make a point."

She smiled and then vanished in a cloud of smoke.

"Show-off," Lois grumbled, turning around and finding that Clark was back. "It's easy to see why the woman makes a living as a stage magician. She's got magic and she's also got flashy, cheap tricks."

He was glad to see she was back to her old self. He showed it by pulling her into his arms and making up for the lack of passionate physical affection that they'd been missing for the past 5 days. They went back to their apartment and made up for it even more.

---

Later that evening, they were sitting in the living just enjoying each other's company and sipping on sparkling cider.

"I can't wait to back to work. There are some people I'd like to talk to."

"Which reminds me, what are we going to do about school?"

"What do you mean what are we going to do? Just tell them you lost custody of her and she's some place with her mother and you have no idea where."

"And they wouldn't follow up on that?"

She shrugged. "How could they, and I'm sure that sort of thing isn't that uncommon, unfortunately."

"I suppose you're right."

He smiled at her and she smiled back. She moved onto his lap and set her glass and his on the table beside the couch. Just as they were starting to get cozy, there was a long and furious knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Lois whispered to Clark.

"Ms. Lambert," Clark said with a small groan.

"Come in!" Lois said with a devilish smile at Clark. They hadn't locked their door back when they came home earlier because something else had been on their minds. Clark didn't have time to move her off his lap.

Ms. Lambert started her tirade, "I have been watching all day and I—" she came to a stop when she took a better look at the situation. She got a little indignant that Clark had company over with a little girl supposedly in the house. "Who is this? Where is Lois?"

"I'm Lois," said Lois. "It's nice to see you again, Ms. Lambert. Can we help you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Where is his daughter?"

Lois gave a small laugh. "Daughter? I hope he doesn't have a daughter hidden somewhere." She held up her left hand and flashed her ring. "I'm his wife."

"His—his—what?"

Lois got up and showed Ms. Lambert her driver's license. "See? I'm Lois Lane Kent. I don't where you got the idea that I'm his daughter, but it's very flattering of you to think so. Although maybe not so flattering for Clark."

She didn't have anyone to check her story with. "You do look…and sound…" She thought about it for a moment, turned pink, and then left.

"Pink's a good color on her. I also enjoyed the confused look on her face," Lois commented.

"I can't help but feel sorry for her though. I have a feeling her new neighbors are going to end up running her a little batty for real if she doesn't drop her role as neighborhood spy."

Lois lifted her glass back off the table. "I'll drink to that."

"You're terrible," he said with a chuckle, but he joined her in the toast.

---

Lois was smiling wide when she handed Perry her 2 articles. He looked over the first one. "Zatanna, huh? There's always public interest where magic is concerned." He flipped the paper to look at the next one. A smile crept over his face as he read it. "Mayor Crags was caught trying to bed a school nurse with promises of office and money from less than honest sources? Lane, I don't know how you manage to bring stories in even when you're sick, but I'm not going to question it. I assume you have the proof to back it up?"

She held up her MP3 player. "I recorded it on here."

He took it from her. "There may be another Pulitzer in your future."

She smiled with a hint of smugness, "I know it."

He rolled his eyes and muttered about the woman's cockiness as he went back into his office.

Clark was staring at her disbelievingly. He had helped her with the first article, but he had no idea she had done the article on the mayor. "When?"

She shrugged, "I figured I'd better make the best of the time I was stuck in hell, also known as school. After he visited our class, I told Ms. Kenney I needed a drink from the water fountain and threw in some brilliant fake coughing. I followed him with my MP3 player and voila, my lucky day. Can you imagine? You almost have to admire the man for the sheer audacity of such a move. I mean a 5 year old just accused him of what was the truth and he doesn't even leave the school before he does it again."

"You're incredible, a risk-taker, but incredible."

"Fortunately when you're 5, you can get away with a lot more in some respects. If only I could slip it on and off like a disguise."

"Lois," called Jimmy as he came over. He pulled 2 pictures from his pocket. "I have something for you."

"I know you do," she said, snatching it away from him. She was about to rip them up, but Clark snatched the photos out of her hand. "Thank you, Jimmy."

"I just want you to know you're on thin ice, Jimmy. Very thin ice."

Jimmy walked away, confused and wondering what he could have possibly done to make her mad.

"Hand them over," demanded Lois.

"Not a chance. I'm going to hang on to these."

Lois glowered at him while he pocketed the pictures in his wallet.

---

A few months later, Lois was finger painting when Clark came through the door. He smiled and shook his head. "I thought you would have given that up by now."

"I actually enjoy it. I wouldn't want to have a second childhood for anything now, but you know there is still something to be gleaned from childhood."

"Of course, there is."

"I'd forgotten it or maybe I never got much of a chance to know it, but there is something pure about children, about the way they see the world. You have to try and hold onto what is pure and good about it when you enter adulthood. It makes life better."

"I agree. I've always thought that about children. They need protection and instruction, but we can learn from them as well. They're one of God's greatest gifts. So what are you painting?" he asked, coming around to look.

It was a cheery-looking picture and in the middle was a baby. It was a work in progress and impossible to tell what the gender was yet. Then she dipped her finger in the pink paint and made a little bow on the baby's head.

"Do you mean?" he asked eagerly.

She nodded and he put his hand over her stomach. "It's a girl," he said in a pleased tone. Then in a more alarmed voice he said, "It's a girl."

"What is the matter?" she asked, concerned.

"I need to call your father. I need advice. What if she's like you when she is little and that was only for 5 and a half days. The fights on the playground, the conferences, not to mention she'll probably have powers, and that's only the beginning."

Lois smiled, relieved that it wasn't anything serious. "What are the chances that she'll be like me? Not to mention that I only appeared to be 5, inside I was anything but."

"So you were nothing like that when you were little?"

"Well, maybe a little."

"See?"

"Relax. I'll be there to help you, and she won't start out as a headstrong 5 year old, you'll work up to it gradually."

"I guess you're right."

"And she may be nothing like me."

He put a hand tenderly on the side of her face. "On second thought, I hope she's exactly like you."

The End


End file.
